personal growth
What do you want?
I look at those seven world titles; each one tells a different story. In a way, they plot my mental health journey. Numbers one and seven were won in a state of love, two through six in a state of fear. The first and last were the bookends, the joyful experiences. What was the difference? One and seven were process-driven. Two to six were outcome-driven.
When I focused on outcomes, it was all about external circumstances. So, when things were going well, I felt good about myself. When things were bad, I felt bad. When I won, I was a winner. When I lost, I was a loser. My identity was wrapped up in how I performed. It was based on fear.
I had defined success as becoming the most successful surfer in history, but what was driving me was that I wanted to be worthy of love. And I had defined being worthy of love as becoming the most successful surfer in history, of succeeding at all costs. I must win. And if I don’t, then I am unworthy of love. As a result, external circumstances dictated the quality of my life.
It was when I won my sixth World title that I unpacked this. I then framed my experiences by process, not outcome – and separated professional success from self-worth. At that point, I was able to enjoy being world champion. I was learning about myself – and celebrating!
Who am I, and what do I want?
Unless we dare to ask ourselves, we’ll never feel like we are enough. To achieve our grandest desires, we must stop and reflect on what’s working and what’s not working. Is there an aspect of your life that is compromised or sacrificed? You’ll then realise that a part of yourself is wrapped up in everything you do.
We all have an ego.
How much of your ego is fuelling you or driving you to do what you do? How much of your goals are your own? It’s a process of reflection. We must have the courage to look in the mirror and ask: Am I truly happy?
We have a mental health crisis in Australia. One in four Australians will suffer a mental health injury (as I prefer to call it, rather than a mental health illness) – suicide, depressive episodes, or reliance on medications.
None of us can live this life alone.
We are hardwired for connection. We need to develop a support network. But remind yourself that very few people in our lives have earned the right to share in our pain. We’ve got to be discerning about who those people are.
Research is showing a mental health emergency among young people. Up to half of all mental health conditions start before the age of 14, and suicide is the third-leading cause of death between the ages of 15 and 19.
It’s a serious problem, and a lot must be done. Society needs to shift its mindset and value mental health as much as physical health. Support systems need to be put in place for those who are suffering and struggling.
But most importantly, we need to recognise that:
Our worth is not defined by our achievements or external circumstances. We are worthy of love simply because we exist and that STARTS with self-love.
Every one of us can take some form of action, which begins by recognising our ability to make a difference. It doesn’t have to be grand or monumental. It can start with the simple act of looking in the mirror and asking: “Who am I, and what do I want?”
Find the courage. Let’s do this.
Love Layne xx.
This article was written as a partnership between Awake Academy and Laureus – who support more than 300 mental health programs in 40 countries through the power of sport. Layne will be participating in the 2024 Laureus Challenge, a 100km trek in New Zealand to raise money for Laureus-supported mental health programs worldwide.
Layne Beachley, AO
Seven-time world champion Layne Beachley is widely regarded as the most successful surfer in history. The only surfer to claim six consecutive world titles, Layne’s story is the testimony to the power of self-belief. Awake Academy is a centre for self-empowerment, cultivating connection, growth and happiness in humanity. Layne started Awake Academy with the desire to awaken people to detach from fear, take control and design a life they love.
